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Showtime's "Episodes", allegedly a comedy series, has not made me laugh once in nine episodes. So I came up with some ways to make the show better, or perhaps to improve your viewing experience. Even though I suggested refocusing the show on other characters/anatomical parts, Matt LeBlanc has to get credit for starring in a TV show in 2012 and not being the worst part of it. Here are my suggestions:
- Matt LeBlanc's gigantic penis becomes the new star of the show. Also, the penis can talk and suddenly "Episodes" starts beating its timeslot competitor, a reviled American remake of a beloved British comedy, in the ratings. They could keep LeBlanc to do a funny voice for the penis if they wanted to
- The head of comedy becomes the new star of the show. She can make funny faces and talk in her pseudo-valley girl voice and everyone will LOL
- The smarmy network lady who tells lies on behalf of the network president should have to interact with Superintendent Chalmers in every scene. Even Chalmers becomes skeptical of her lies
- Showtime subscriptions will now come with a fax machine. This will allow all the hacky multi-cam sitcom jokes to be immediately identified as jokes to the home viewers
- Every time Character A beats around the bush about something, finally says what's on their mind, followed by Character B saying "There it is!" without missing a beat, Louis C.K. and Michael Schur each get twenty dollars
- When a character pauses to wait for the non-existant laugh track applause to subside, drink an entire bottle of wine
- Sean and Beverly should literally faint whenever they find out that someone in the entertainment business told them a lie
- Wouldn't this be an awesome venue for the Friends reunion which is totally happening?!?!?!?! I heard Jennifer Aniston is dropping everything to jump at this incredible opportunity!!!!!!!!!!!
- Have the fictional Matt LeBlanc finally host "Saturday Night Live" in which "Pucks!" is parodied in a sketch. Sean and Beverly complain that SNL took a beloved staple of American comedy and ruined it. Also, CBS/NBC peace summit or something.
- An entire episode where David Crane and Jeffrey Klarik fight television critics to the death, a la the fight scene in "Anchorman". Episode will be titled "Class Warfare"
