Today, I'm beginning a new series on this blog in which I write about my 25 favourite episodes of TV ever. I'm hoping that by starting this and trying to stick to a consistent schedule of one post every Friday, I will actually complete this project in 2013 like I've always intended since I thought up the idea back in the winter. I've looked over my list and I'm pretty happy with it, but if anything gets replaced between now and November I'll try to make a note of it. Also worth keeping in mind is that while I'll be talking about why these are good episodes, these are not reviews. I won't be surprised if a few of these write-ups are largely recaps full of funny jokes and moments and me saying something to the effect of "You guys, seriously, this episode" after each one. If that's the case, so be it - I will have effectively laid out why I like the episode. TL;DR: My blog, my rules.
Up first: I believe my only reality episode on this list. I'm probably going to hell. But I had fun on my way there!
Survivor: The Amazon, “Girls
Gone Wilder”
First aired on CBS Wednesday, March 26, 2003
“Some people are
building a shelter...some people are building alliances. We’ll see if the
people building the shelter will be around to use it for more than a few days.”
– Rob Cesternino
Through twenty-six seasons on the air, “Survivor” has always
stuck to a pretty rigid formula. There are seasons I haven’t seen, but I
can declare that with some confidence because I checked back in on the show in
the fall for Michael Skupin reasons and “Survivor” was basically just doing the
same “Survivor” things that have made it a hit for 13 years. Episodes begin
with the tribe who just voted someone out in the last episode returning to camp
late at night, discussing in individual confessionals what has just taken place
and how awesome/screwed they are (which, of course, continue through the entire
episode). The next day, the castaways compete in a reward challenge. The
winners partake in said reward while the losers are shown looking sad and
defeated back at camp, trying to keep their fire lit and complaining about all
the stories they’ll have to hear about beautiful waterfalls and delicious food
and hot showers when the winners return. The castaways then compete in an immunity
challenge, which depending on the stage of the game, either determines which
tribe has to vote someone off or protects an individual player from being
eliminated. Last minute scrambling ensues, with viewers always left uncertain
as to what’s about to happen. The castaways head to tribal council, and on
occasion, we’re lucky enough to be just as blindsided as viewers as the person
who ended up leaving the game. Host Jeff Probst delivers a pithy moral to the
remaining players, before telling them to grab their torches and head back to
camp – good night. Repeat in three-day cycles for 39 days, a.k.a. two seasons
of 13 episodes for broadcast on CBS every calendar year.
And then something kind of strange happened. Part way
through their sixth season, the producers decided the rules didn’t matter for
one episode. Format? Structure? Familiarity? Not this week. We have a special
assignment this week. And that’s to humiliate a person in front of a national
television audience of 18 million people.
That man? Roger Sexton. Age: 56, the vice president of a
construction company from Valencia, California. Married to Diane, and a proud
father. Veteran of the U.S. Marine Corps – his luxury item on the beach was his
dog tags.
Was Roger right to focus on survival over fun? I’m inclined
to say yes, but the correct answer is actually “it doesn’t matter” because in a
game like this, the majority rules. Roger had no understanding of the social
aspects of “Survivor,” and this lack of understanding can be summed
up in the scene where Roger snores through the other castaways staying up late
and drinking to celebrate the merging of the tribes.
When Survivor: Amazon
began, the two tribes were separated by gender for the first time ever to celebrate
the history of independent, society-building Amazonian women who came before
them. And because history repeats itself, the women of the new merged Jacaré
tribe decided a majority needed to be formed to take out Roger before
eliminated players started forming the jury that would eventually vote for a
winner.
Deena Bennett succinctly explained why: “Roger will never
let a woman win if he’s on the jury. So screw him.”
Roger was blind to the enormous amount of
danger he was in, and in order to let the audience take enormous pleasure from
his downfall, the editors spent the entire episode setting him up for an
absolutely embarrassing exit. They never created any doubt or threw in any red herrings. It was just "Roger's going home, so let's have fun with it". Here’s a dynamite quote from Roger shortly after
the merge: “The men outnumber the women and it just seems too easy.”
Want another? Here you go: “Everything seems to be falling
in to place...it’s too good to be true!” Indeed, Roger.
Cut to the immunity challenge. It was a contest of
endurance, and the last person left standing on their perch won. Because of how
certain he was that a woman was going home, most likely Deena or Christy Smith,
Roger basically – you know what, I’ll get back to that. Let’s not bury the
lead. We have to sidebar for a minute on one of the most memorable moments in
the history of “Survivor”.
This is mostly the tale of Roger Sexton and a bizarre
editing stray, but overall it’s this episode’s hilarity that makes it one of my
favourite TV episodes ever. And the infamous “girls get naked for chocolate and
peanut butter” sequence was about as funny as the show ever was (intentionally,
anyway). In endurance challenges, Jeff Probst will regularly tempt players with
food if they agree to eliminate themselves. Jenna Morasca proposed to Probst
that she and Heidi Strobel would take their clothes off for chocolate and
peanut butter, a food the pair had particularly been craving.
“Get the girls some chocolate and peanut butter, Probst!”
demanded Rob. And sure enough, the girls took off their bathing suits and jumped
into the water. Knowing his wife would be watching when the show aired, school
principal Butch Lockley covered his
eyes saying, “Oh why me? I’m not looking, all the kids at school I’m not
looking!” “I’m looking!” said Dave Johnson, among others. "Survivor" was a big enough show back in 2003 that this stunt alone landed Jenna and Heidi the cover of Playboy.
Shortly after the girls went wild, Roger decided to
basically make a deal with himself to jump off the platform. He didn’t make
anyone promise him safety or wait for a temptation of food after 19 days of
eating nothing but small portions of manioc rice – he just decides he’s out
because he doesn’t think he needs immunity. “With little fanfare, Roger is out
of the game,” Jeff said, even though he was technically incorrect. Roger would be
out of the game soon enough, but there was much, much fanfare when it finally happened.
From then until Tribal Council, it was basically just the
six or seven players who were in on the plan making fun of Roger. “The only way
Roger was gonna win immunity was if it was a contest of ‘Name That Perry Como
Song,’ or perhaps, ‘What Type of Prune Is This?’ or some sort of other thing
that only an old man like Roger would be able to determine,” said Rob,
gleefully. Alex also joined in celebrating not just the fact that Roger
willfully eliminated himself from the challenge, but that he didn’t get
anything to eat. Much like the pizza that tempted Alex off his perch, it was
cold – but the game makes you do things you wouldn’t do in the real world.
Making the editing of this episode even more bizarre was the
inclusion of double confessionals, which I don’t think I’ve ever seen in
another episode of “Survivor”. Future Playboy centerfolds Jenna and Heidi, along with centerfold-less Alex and Matthew, used
this time to even further take pleasure in Roger’s impending doom. Beyond being
an interesting editing choice, the double confessionals added further hilarity
to an episode already bursting with comedic moments (if Rob Cesternino ever
plays “Survivor” again, I am THERE), and also offer unique strategic points of
view. In Alex and Matthew’s joint confessional, Alex mentions that Roger is
ignorant to his fate and Matthew says that Roger is second in line to be voted
out. “No, he’s first on the list now. The list has changed. He was being an ass
earlier today,” Alex informs him. It was Matthew’s ignorance of the game’s true
wheelings and dealings that led him to eventually lose 6-1 to Jenna in the
final vote.
And then it was time. Finally time for everyone to put the
nails in Roger’s coffin. Except for Roger, who had the nerve to vote for
Christy and say that she should have stayed in the immunity challenge
longer. Anyway, Deena got in one nice final jab at Roger: “Reality check, and
mate. Never underestimate the power of a woman.” But his harshest critic had yet to step up to the urn.
In every video game, you get to points where you have to
fight some sort of "boss" in order to continue playing. They usually have an Achilles heel
that when targeted enough, will eventually leave the boss defeated if not dead
entirely. It’s hard not to think of this type of attack as the castaways each
made their way to the urn to leave their vote and speak their peace (well, not
exactly peace in this case). Leave it to (who else) Rob to deliver
this final blow to poor Roger. Watch:
In a perfect Casey Kasem impression: “Here comes tonight’s, long distance dedication. It goes out to Rob,
from New York. He writes, ‘Dear Casey – there’s a mean old man in my life,
that’s about to leave. Could you please play something appropriate for me?’
Well Rob, here’s your request. ‘Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey,
good-bye!’”
(Fun fact: it's not in the video above, but as Rob heads back his seat, he looks up at Jeff because Jeff is talking to him, even though we can’t hear him.
What’s Jeff saying? According to Rob, Jenna, and a number of other people who
were at that Tribal Council, it was something along the lines of, “Nice job,
smartass. Like hell that’ll make the show.” Guess even in whispers, Rob was a
little too loud in his celebrating.)
Just for the record: the person who was voted out that
night? It was Roger.
Yes, it was cruel and unusual. Yes, the blame lies with both
the castaways and the editors for treating a fairly harmless guy this way. But
the forty-minute build up to Roger’s exit is so well mapped out, entertaining, and masterfully
handled that it’s hard not to root for his torch to be put out by the end. Did
we need 26 seasons of “Survivor”? Absolutely not. But having seen an episode
like this, I refuse to let anyone tell me that reality television is entirely stupid
or worthless. They’re not the nicest people in the world, but it’s a
fascinating examination of human behaviour nonetheless. In 2003, there was
still nothing on TV that had ever been quite like “Survivor,” and episodes like
this proved it.
Epilogue: We
can’t end things like that, though. If you haven’t seen this episode, the preceding
write-up sounds pretty bleak and mean. So you should know that Roger is doing
just fine and holds no ill will to anybody. For an edition of his video
podcast, Rob reunited the cast of “Survivor: Amazon” back in February for the
season’s 10th anniversary, and Roger was nice enough to join him
in-studio. Everyone confirmed their peace and lack of hard feelings, and Roger
mentioned that he had shown the season to his grandchildren, with no
embarrassment or shame to be had - just a lot of fun and reminiscing.
“Survivor”: bringing people together, for better or worse, since 2000.
Next week: I walk out of hell and into the light with the series finale of one of my favourite shows ever
